Terrible Two- What Is It and How to Go Through It

Children are blessings and I guess everybody agrees. As a matter of fact, during pregnancy both parents expect with an abated breath the arrival of happiness and indeed there is happiness in the first few months of a child’s life. However, when the child hits two years; all hell breaks loose and such parents may have second thoughts. This is the so called “terrible two” phase of a child’s development.

So What Is Terrible Two Phase?

In my search to find the meaning of terrible two; I came across the following definition. It refers to a stage in a toddler’s life when anger or temper tantrums takes toll on the child. It is characterized by the child’s “NO” response to everything you suggest as well as refusing to do what they are asked to do.

I have three children and when each hit just about two years these very problems began and I know right then that “terrible two” phase had caught up with me. I also realized that it was at the same time that my toddlers developed verbal abilities. Some toddlers experience this phase earlier at about 18 months but some as late as 34 months. For my children, it was somewhere in between these extremes.


This stage is tremendously stressful for most parents as well as caretakers and without knowing how to respond, things can move from bad to worse. I came to the realization that such a child will exhibit some reactions that are at best understandable and at times unexplained. The child develops crankiness, anger tantrums, excessive crying and restlessness.

This is also the time that the child is predisposed to accidents due to hazards such as broken toys, glass and other harmful objects. This may result from the child throwing toys he or she is given onto the walls even when they are meant to console him or her during the terrible moments.

An example of such moments I had with my toddler was when I was online shopping for him the most beautiful boys pants I’ve seen in a long time. I wanted to get him wear them for his birthday party. When I tried to dress him with this shirt, the kid could not take it. I simply could not understand what is going on so I insisted. My boy responded with uncontrollable tantrums and all my efforts to control him hit a dead end.

What Makes Toddlers React The Way They Do?

This is the question in many people’s minds although not many would dare ask it. In a bid to answer this question, I found many reasons that can make toddlers to behave the way they do. This has helped me to understand them better and also to go through the terrible two phase without much stress.
Here are some of the reasons I came across:

These children are opinionated: As young as they are, kids have opinions although they do not have self-consciousness to be rational. This is the reason why such children have absolutely no problem causing chaos in a public place such as a restaurant. They believe that their opinion is what matters and so insist on.

Two year old’s cannot reason: In as much as these children are opinionated they have not yet developed the ability to reason. Once their minds are set on something, they have not ability to critically consider the merits or demerits of their behavior and so end up reacting the way they do.

They are attention seekers: Just like most parents out there, I felt more bonded with my children at this early age. This boding tends to wane off as the child gets older; especially when another child is expected. The two year old’s will recognize this change and so tend to seek as much attention as possible.

Their moods take toll on them: Two year old’s, unlike older children or adults, can talk either coherently or incoherently but they would rather react emotionally to their needs. I realized that my kid’s moments would be triggered by hunger pants, tiredness, sleepiness or the like.

It is milestone in a child’s development: “Terrible Two” phase can be considered a developmental milestone in a child’s life. According to my research, it is an important aspect in the developments of a child’s core belief system that would determine his personality in the future. If well handled it can help shape the behavior of such a child in adulthood.

Armed with this understanding, I gradually learned how to care for my children in this trying moment. I would advise that any parent find ways to outwit their juniors. If hunger is the problem then I recommend arming yourself with some healthy snacks whenever you are with your child. A two year old may actually have favorable toy, cloth or the like; have some idea.